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A historical look at the stuff that gets us hammered. Who’s ready for the first round?

Beer

To quote Homer Simpson, is there anything it can’t do? Most likely invented in Persia circa 7,000 B.C.E., beer’s gone on to become hugely important in almost every ancient society it’s touched. Back in Sumerian culture, the drink was considered positively divine - a fact confirmed when archaeologists dug up the 4,000-year-old “Hymn to Ninkasi.” The ode to the goddess of brewing actually doubles as a recipe for a barley-based beverage
guaranteed to make people feel “exhilarated, wonderful and blissful.”
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The most identifiable cuisine in the region is Peranakan or Nonya cuisine, born from the mixed Malay and Chinese communities of what were once the British colonies of the Straits Settlements (modern-day Singapore, Penang and Malacca).

Kaya is a jam-like spread made from egg and coconut, an odd-sounding but tasty combination. Served on toast for breakfast, canonically accompanied by runny eggs and strong, sweet coffee (kopi).

Laksa refers to a rather large variety of noodle soups eaten in the region. Assam laksa from Penang is an appetizing sour soup noodle, Johor laksa is spaghetti topped with a sauce of fish, herbs and spices; Katong laksa is a coconut curry soup topped with cockles or shrimp from Singapore (otherwise known as curry-noodle in Malaysia), and Sarawak laksa is the specialty of Kuching on the island of Borneo.

Rojak is a salad of bean sprouts, pineapple, white turnip, fried bean cake and anything else on hand, tossed in a black sauce flavored with peanuts and shrimp. Rojak means a mixture of everything in Malay. There are two different kinds of Rojak, Indian or Chinese, differentiated by the different ingredients and sauce used.

Local Laksa Dish
Photo by Alpha

Many regional terms and the odd euphemism tend to crop up in notionally English menus. A few of the more common ones:

assam - tamarind (Malay)
bee hoon - thin rice noodles (Chinese)
gonggong - a type of cockle (Chinese)
hor fun - very wide, flat rice noodles (Chinese)
kangkong - water convolvulus, an aquatic vegetable (Chinese)
kway teow - flat rice noodles (Chinese)
mee - thick egg noodles (Chinese)
sotong - squid (Malay)
spare parts - offal such as liver, heart, gizzard

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Technorati Tags: food, malaysia food

On the long list of unpleasant ways to die, it’s hard to imagine anything topping “exploding colon.” We’ll take the stomach flu, heartburn, death by paper cuts even! Just please, please, spare us these fates.

1. Farting to Death

Sounds like a third-grade punch line, but maybe it’s so funny because it’s true. The average person expels about a half liter of gas per day. Put bluntly, that’s somewhere between 13 and 17 daily farts. And although any 11-year-old with a matchbook and curiosity knows that gas passed is flammable (since it contains primarily hydrogen and methane), it’s not dangerous for the excessively gassy to work around open flames.

Once in a while, though, someone will blow up from gas. The problem usually occurs during colonic surgery, when heat (or spark) comes into contact with flammable intestinal gases after inadequate “bowel evacuation.” The resulting explosion is sometimes fatal.

Anyone who’s ever suffered from colon surgery can tell you exactly what “bowel evacuation” entails - you drink a laxative the day before surgery and find yourself in the bathroom with enough time to read Anna Karenina. Unpleasant, sure, but better than blowing up on the operating table.

2. Pica

Pica, an eating disorder in which sufferers feel compelled to eat nonfood items, is usually seen in children. At least 10% of kids enjoy eating dirt or paste or plaster, but adults suffering from pica often develop unusual tastes.

Strangely, the same such cravings pop up so often they have their own names. Pagophagia is the compulsive eating of ice; coprophagia describes eating (often animal) feces; coniophagia involves - get this - the pathological consumption of dust from Venetian blinds.

And pica can be fatal. Too much plaster might lead to fatal lead poisoning for instance, and consuming clay can lead to a potentially deadly intestinal blockage. (Image: Baobao, an 18-year-old Mongolian girl eating dirt)

3. Roundworms

About 25% of the world’s population is infected with roundworms (that’s Ascaris lumbricoides to the Latin scholars), which is even more disconcerting when you consider that one generally contracts roundworms by swallowing egg-ridden human feces. Once infected, the eggs hatch in the stomach and intestines, then migrate throughout the body.

Although completely disgusting, roundworms are only occasionally deadly - they can cause edema in the lungs; and the female worms, which can grow 18 inches long, sometimes perforate the intestines, leading to peritonitis.

But the most terrifying wormy complication involves anesthesia. Because worms find anesthesia irritating, they sometimes migrate up the trachea and nasal passages or down the intestines during surgery. It’s been reported, for instance, that one pregnant woman had several of the nematodes worm out of her nose and mouth while she was giving birth.

4. Celiac Sprue

Dieters seeking low-carb lifestyle might do well to seek out celiac sprue, an intestinal ailment that amounts to an allergy to the protein gluten - found in such foods as wheat, barley, and rye.

When celiac sufferers ingest the dreaded stuff, the immune system responds by attacking the small intestine, which leads to a sort of intestinal baldness. Villi, hairlike protruberances that line the small intestine, absorb nutrients into the body, but when people with celiac eat gluten, the villi get flattened or otherwise damaged, making proper nourishment impossible.

If left undiagnosed, celiac can lead to massive malnutrition, wasting, and even death. But people with celiac can lead perfectly healthy lives provided they forswear gluten. Which means no beer. Which is, frankly, unacceptable.

5. Megacolon

A blessedly uncommon but life-threatening disorder, megacolon is characterized by the one-two punch of a massively inflated colon (one), and the accompanying abdominal distension (two). Although generally a complication of bowel diseases like ulcerative colitis and Crohn’s disease, megacolon occasionally develops from severe - and we mean severe constipation.

One such example is on display at Philadelphia’s Mütter Museum, which collects all manner of medical oddities (from John Wilkes Booth’s thorax to a tumor removed from President Grover Cleveland’s jaw). The crown jewel of the Mütter Museum’s collection is a five-foot-long megacolon. Bearing a distinct resemblance to Jabba the Hutt, the monstrosity was removed from a man who, unable to move his bowels, died with 40 pounds of excrement in his gut. (Image: Colonic Association, warning: gruesome!)

Technorati Tags: deadliest food

Poisonous or dangerous food is considered a special delicacy by some cultures in several parts of the world. In most cases, a nice feast may turn into a deadly game of Russian roulette.

So, would you take the risks of eating these deadly delicacies?

“Fugu” or Pufferfish

This goes on top of my list as the world’s deadliest delicacy. Even a drop of toxin from a Pufferfish or Fugu (in Japanese) can immediately leave you paralyzed, followed by death.

Fugu is considered an authentic Japanese delicacy and it would take years for a chef to master the art of preparing the dish. The toxin, called tetrodotoxin is concentrated in the roe, ovaries and the liver of the fish.

A slight error during the removal of the toxic parts can allow the toxin to contaminate the entire flesh of the fish. Despite the risk of eating Fugu, it is reported that yearly, there are dozens of death from Fugu poisoning in Japan.

“San Nak Ji” or Live Octopus

“San Nak Ji” or live octopus is a popular delicacy in Korea and Japan. The enjoyment of eating this food is when the octopus is still moving with the tentacles sticking to the roof of the mouth. The challenge is to munch and swallow the live octopus without choking. It is reported that there are on average of 6 deaths due to choking (on live octopus), each year in South Korea.

Cassava

This is one of the world’s popular staple food. Cassava is often used to make the tropical delicacy in the form of tapioca starch or flour. However, if not properly washed or cooked, cassava leaves and roots contain toxin called cyanide which is fatal to humans even in small doses.

Giant Bullfrog

Giant bullfrog is considered a delicacy in Namibia. The Namibians eat the entire giant bullfrog except for the internal organs. In most cultures, only certain body parts of the frogs such as the legs are consumed as most frogs have poisonous skin and poisonous internal organs. A premature bullfrog is said to contain a certain toxin which could lead to kidney failure in most cases.

Ackee Fruit

Ackee plant is originated from West Africa. Later, it was introduced to Florida, USA. Ackee fruit is widely used in Jamaican cuisine, which includes its national delicacy, “ackee and saltfish”.

The fruit looks like a pear, red in color when it’s ripe. The ackee fruit must be picked after it has naturally opened and revealed the seeds. The fruit must be eaten at the right time. The fruit is poisonous if it is both immature and overripe. The fleshy part around the seeds is the only part which is edible. The rest of the fruit contain a type of toxin called hypoglycin which can be fatal if consumed.

Silver-Stripe Blaasop

The silver-stripe blaasop is a delicacy among the locals who live in some parts of the Indian Ocean. The locals are experts in removing the toxic parts of the fish before cooking and consuming it. The poison is concentrated in the liver, reproductive organs and also the skin of the fish which can cause paralysis and breathing problems if consumed by humans.

Somehow, the silver-stripe blaasop made its way to the eastern Mediterranean waters. In early 2007, there are about 10 reported deaths relating to the poisoning of the fish which include 8 in Egypt and 2 in Israel.

Echizen Jellyfish

The giant Echizen jellyfish is a huge, poisonous jellyfish which moves in swarms in the Japan waters. The jellyfish lives on tuna fish and this poses a problem as the tuna supply is affected by the huge consumption. So, the solution is to catch the jellyfish and turn it into a delicacy.

Like “Fugu” the tricky part lies in the preparation of the dish. The toxic parts must be removed and the jellyfish must be properly cooked for safe consumption.

Technorati Tags: deadliest food, food

In formal settings, all the silverware, glassware, cups, saucers and the like are placed on the table, so it’s often difficult to know which fork to use when or which water glass is yours. As a general rule to thumb, silverware is lined up in the order in which a person will use them, going from the outside, in. For instance, the fork and knife used for the salad are placed in the outermost of the setting, farthest from your plate (with the exception of the spoon). Dessert silverware, if not brought out with the dessert, are placed at the top of your entrée plate. Glassware, cup and saucer are placed to your right, while the napkin, bread plate and butter spreader to your left.

Now that you know how the table setting is laid out and when to use each, here are 10 tips for the duration of the meal:

1. When dining with six or more, it’s polite to wait till roughly 50% of the table has their food before starting your meal. In smaller groups, wait until the entire table has their food, unless food temperature is at high risk in decreasing the enjoyment of the meal, and/or others at the table incessantly insist you begin.
2. You can and should use your knife to cut large pieces of lettuce or other ingredients in your salad. Nothing is worse than trying to shove a large piece of lettuce in your mouth and having some of it stick out. (No brainer, but this applies to your entrée as well.)
3. The proper way to butter a piece of bread is to rip off a piece that’s about one or two bites in size, butter it, and eat it. Repeat. Never bite straight into a roll, and refrain from cutting it in half and buttering.
4. While cutting meat, the correct way is to cut a piece and then switch your fork to your right hand to pick it up. This method is considered the “American” way. Not switching your fork and using your left is called the “Continental” way, and is done most often in European countries. This way is gaining acceptance and I wouldn’t be surprised if one day soon it’s considered acceptable in fine dining. Also, cut meat a piece at a time. Cutting the entire meat up into pieces or cutting more than one at a time is tacky.
5. Wipe your mouth before taking a sip of your drink. It’s unsightly to see food particles or grease on the rim of your glass. Also, it’s considered rude to take a sip of your drink with your mouth full. Plus, backwash is gross!
6. When leaving the table during the course of your meal, put your napkin on your chair, not the table. No one wants to see your stained napkin. And at the completion of the meal, place it on the left of your plate, or if your plate has been cleared, in the center.
7. When in a situation where you have to pass food or condiments to others at the table, pass it to your right, or counter clockwise. Never do a “boarding house reach” across the table.
8. When you don’t want to swallow a piece of food in your mouth (e.g. a bone or a piece of fat), move the piece to the front of your mouth and use your fork (or spoon if that’s what you were using) to retrieve it from your mouth and into the side of your plate. The only time its okay to use your fingers is when it’s a fish bone.
9. To get the waiter’s attention, the most polite way is to make eye contact. However chances are they are busy and/or are ignoring you. It’s acceptable to raise your hand to head level, just don’t go overboard by raising it way above your head and wave it about.
10. When you’re done with your meal, the proper placement of the silverware is to lay them parallel to each other and across the plate with the handles facing the right. To clarify, the ends would be facing 10 o’clock and four. Note: Not all waiters will know this and they still may ask you if it’s okay to clear your plate. At least you appear classy.